I dare you to catch razor butterflies

__Lady Luck

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Lady Luck obviously left the side of me buddy Dean...Early in the morning he forgot his wallet..thn we were late for sch so we took a taxi..thn his form tcher checked wif his mom to ensure he didnt skip sch or sumtim..thn Dean had a weird time wif Cikgu Hajis [ need i say more?? ]...apparently the PJCSB sweater didnt come out as expected..for concolation at least our sweaters can glow in the dark..hahax...and of course he left his hp in the taxi we took in the morning...so sad rites..OMG!!..maths test was killer..onli 3 questions and i made careless mistakes..tink i am gonna fail..o0zp..hope i do realli well in bio...

Band ish kinda fun now..Ms Chan keeps on cracking jokes..but sumhow i still feel like u noe..quitting and wad not...hahax..i asked to be put into the arts stream..and Ms Leong saed no..hahax..aniwae Ms Leong and Mr Tan met me and Dean at J.E KFC...hmmm..wad were they doing together...hanky-panky ehz??...hahax..Dean n I gort a gd laugh during our meals..we were sitting in front of this lady who ish a model coz she was showing off her protfolio..she ish damn fugly and her pictures weren't stimulating visually or anitin..in fact it brought abt the gagging reflex and made Dean n I laugh our butts off..my gosh the poses she did for the portfolio..it was relayively comical..wished i cld tell her how stewpid she looked..hmmm...

I had a god chat wif Dean..thx alort man..my klassmates Shar n Yina wer damn farni the whole day..we stayed back and i managed to get into the NYAA team..woohoo...yeahx..so exciting..hahax..Yina though us sum piano techniques..man she's gd!!...hahax..had fun todae..as it did take my mind off several stuff..its alrite after all..time heals...

caught a razor butterfly at - 12:01 AM |

__should i??

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Few more days and all of this would come to an end..yeahx...pple haf been saeing that i look down todae..and that i seem to haf an angry n moody facade..hmmmm..well i haf done alort of thinking...every little minute..i am alone..i tend to wander into my own complex world wer i juz think abt my choices..yeahx..Tanya was a bit worried i guess..she was the ferst to notice tht i wasnt myself the whole day..lotsa things happened todae to make me freak out..haish..ferst was that me and dean wer practicalli late for school..thn during bio klass..i was like blind and i mean it..everyone could see the braticule scale in the microscope..but i cudnt and i panicked..the tcher saed she could see it clearly but to me all i could see was nutin..zilch...Ms Leaong sensed my urgency and calmed me down..haish..i am so lame..during malay klass..Cikgu Hajis gave everone the kamus thn for no apparent reason i juz gort up from my seat an walked to the cupborad n took 2 dictionaries..my friends questioned my actions n tht was thn i noticed wad i was doing..my gawd i feel weird...

Its nice being able to feel secure and emotionalli stable once again..maizura sms-ed me and i tot it was such a blessing as i poured out all my probs to her and such..its reall assuring tht pple i love back in wwss still are the same..i mish them so much..maiz ish the ferst person hu supports me quitting band for reasons yet unknown...Shirong and me were discussing abt quitting during sectionals..thn Kenny saed the band will be totalli handicapped wen the onli 2 tubists leave.gd!!..hahax...i juz dunnoe..i feel confused..i haf caused tensions..i feel not connected with the band peeps of my year..the all apparently know each other frm 1st 3 mths..me??..haish..i happen to expect so much..but in the end..all i m left wif are my tears..maybe..juz maybe i will stay n grit my teeth..or i might end my band-hood...i neber tot i would not be a JC band member wen i passed out last year frm WWCB..i alwaes had this set of hopes...but they are nutin but mere dust...i wait in the darkness for my salvation...

caught a razor butterfly at - 10:46 PM |

__memories

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Some of u guys out there might think that i appear as nothing but another stewpid obese kid who cannot stop whining..but i shall take it the other way..as in i rather heal through letting pple know how much i feel this past few days...yeahx..its gonna be reflective from now on..engaging on a journey of self-discovery..

The bio test today was okie i guess..didnt realli irk me so much...the lessons were okie but i liked the extra corricular part of the day better...we had photo taking today for the band pple..hooray..i stood next to my compardre Mr Dean Mathew Kieran..We snapped the formal shots n then did candid ones where me and Dean decided to emulate the pose we did for the WWSS cca fair in the past..hahahx..thn i proceeded to the Debates meeting..qte informative..they r gonna chose the main pple soon..will i stand a chance...maybe...

Band was okie..i hope Xiao huan gets btr..yeahx..its farni..how i seem to look around me and actualli feel qte comfortable in the band...its definitely not like WWSS but i make do wif it..i made a promise to myself to at least noe a hefty population of the J1's before the whole SYF thing..coz we are gonna werk together once the seniors pass out..and i totalli wanna widen my social circle..muahahahax...okie okie..hmmm..how would i put it..todae they gaf out the forms for the president and wad other post lahx..i honestly dunnoe lah...i kinda feel empty now..its like i xpect so much of myself..but i juz dun feel like..hmmm..evn i am unable to come up with werds for it..haiz..going to ciaoz..my damn mom pissed me off...i am so misunderstood..i cant wait to get out of this farking place i call my home..salvation will come soon i presume...

caught a razor butterfly at - 10:43 PM |

__long time

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Its definitely been a long time since i seeked my refuge in this humble blog..Time has passed and evidently i feel mixed up.There were times where i was supposed to feel happy and joyous yet all i felt was confusion and a weird sense to just run away.. Lotsa things happened over this week's span...for starters my gropu won the debates..Mrs Menon said those holding two CCAs will stand a lower chance of being in the school debates team...haiz..wad a downer..band has been taxing on all of us..evnthough i feel relatively okay with the people in PJCSB..but i remain hesitant in building real bonds wif them..each time i talk to sumwan..each time i turn around...I expect to see sumwan like Naz..sumwan like Sheril and sumwan like Maizura..its like..i yearn to be back in the past where it was just us...just us....all dat i long for ish to be just us...i know it may seem weird..pple might think that i am not adpting to my new environment but belif its a whole new ball game in JC..i am comfy wif my klassmates and the school environment..but i cannot help it if i miss my friends in school...i mish them soo much..i miss those moments together...when Haziq n Dean graduated from WWSS i still had them...they were my saviors..when i graduated...i couldnt help but feel a deep loss..i lost a piece of myself...

I mish those times we had..i mish WWSS alort..i mish the tchers..i mish the times Ms Kok wld shout at us for not singing the national anthem loud enuff..i mish the moments..i mish noeing practicalli everyone in sch and waving simple hi-s to everone..i mish everyting...i guess in the end...i am a big loser..unable to let go of my pass..tts y i keep on coming back..tts y i walk alone each day...tts y i tend to alienate away from the others...guess...i gotta grow up...till death do us apart...i love u guys..nowan in PJC will ever be like u guys..no matter wad..i wont find u guys in aniwan in PJC..till we meet again..i long for ur presence..i mish u..and hope u mish me too....

caught a razor butterfly at - 6:37 PM |

__all a lie

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Hmmm..ytd was the "great" debate meeting..my ferst in fact..n by the looks of it my last.I met up wif Magdelene n we headed to school..frm there we cld see all the other debaters getting ready for the main selections on wednesday..pretty freaky if u ask me..aniwae we sat wif Chia Yeo n discussed abt Yuyan..Thn we were called upon by the seniors to go to the computer lab for the training-cum-meeting..haiz..practicalli all the pple in the 1st 3 months are retaining their loyalty to debates..i am okie abt it..nuttin to retaliate agnst but i was soon to find out that the sch i call my haven..seems to be a nother bias institution behind its humble facade...

The trainer ish a chinese dude..damn kool..damn funky..turns out Mr Woolhead aint gonna train us directly..well the trainer ish Johnathn if i am not wrong..from catholic high..debated for VJC n for the national team in the Worls School Debates..must be damn good...he asked us all if we had any prior debates experience..apparently i had more experience thn some of them there..coz most of them r beginners..ya..so he asked us to do an impromptu debate..i chose top be wif Mag which was also an oppurtunity to mingle wif the "best debaters in pjc"..aniwae it seems that the 1st 3 monthers tend to talk to themselves onli during our discussion..they joked amongst themselves..n juz anihow allocated the positions to us as if they were "that" good..haiz imagine one of them becoming the president of the debates club..man..i will quit after the inter-college debates i tink..we had the debates after 30 mins of discussion..man was it sloppy..i wasnt evn prepared at all..i din evn haf fully structured sentences to speak of..lame..the onli good comment i had was my ability to fulfill the time requirement that day..haiz..thn the seniors a.k.a Seok ying kept on yakking abt how the good debators frm 1st 3 mths are running for council n they wld not want to lose them coz they seem to be the best...blah blah..she kept on talking at Langer n Alvin as if they were Gods..puh-leese..apparently the boot-lickers are in the Pre-U seminar..its pretty prestigious to go for it..i am dumb man..i was offered a place in the dates team n pre-u seminar if i stayed in JJC..but i gave it all up to go PJC n i m treated like an invisible shit there..haiz..i am not saying that PJC sux or wad juz that the debates society aint my cuppa tea...they shld look in the mirror so that i cn creep behind them n smash their faces in it...

bunch of mother farkers..i am onli doing it for Mag n myself..hope we do well on wednesdae...hope the seniors rot wif their pets..in hell.lamers...hmph..Melissa ish better..wish she were there..haiz..guess my dreams of being a debater will go down the drain..sumtimes..i wish i were back in westwood...its alwaes btr there..alwaes...

caught a razor butterfly at - 12:45 PM |

__return of the hippoe

Friday, April 15, 2005

Well i finalli came back to skewl after a long break..everyone was happie to see me i guess...Yina saed she missed me and all...awwwww...so sweet..hahaax..aniwae bio lecture was okie..i guess it realli helps to learn chem n bio simultaneously..yeahx..den during the break i was reigning champion in eating mushroom noodles the prim n proper way...i beat Tanya..at the end of recess my shirt was still spotless while Tanya had few spots of mushroom soup upon her blouse...hahax..but i realli appreciate the gesture of following me to check out if the unifroms were still in stock..ur such a sweety...Thn i chatted wif Irene until maths lecture...i wld juz like to say that maths lecture by Mr Goh aint that beneficial..we completed the topic on binomial distribution within an hour..how ish that possible..he juz kept on feeding us the solutions..man..at times like this i realli mish Mr Neo..at least he was professional enuff to help me get a gd passing grade..sheesh..aniwae i felt that todae's lesson was a bit emulating a broadway spectacle...

Mr Goh:I can hear a gerl speaking..who isit??
Clarence [ info frm jia yeo ] : AGNES!!
Agnes:I am sorrie sir but ur handwriting ish illegible
Mr Goh: Its not my hand writing and u cn raise ur hand to ask
Agnes:I dun wanna interrupt the klass
Mass of students..:Man she rox..i like her!!
Mr Goh:Okie as i was saying abt my wedding example
Agnes:Haiz..
Mr Goh:Gerl stand up n go to tht side
Agnes:Maths ish impt to me..i haf no add maths background..i juz wanted to understand..maths ish very impt..weeps here
Mr Goh:i know its impotant but respect ish more impt..go stand aside..
Agnes:Mr Goh can i still see u after sch..i appreciate the help..
Mass of students:..mumble..mumble..

wow..drama!!..the speaker for todaes J1 assembly rox..i reaali felt connected in a way..way to go Mdm Siti Hamidah..in no way ish she associated to the illustrious Hamidah we all know..well i skipped band..muahahax...after i did my maths test i went for debates..apparently i tink i am losing hope in becoming the sch debator..the practically chose the 1st 3 monthers to participate in the upcoming unknown competition..thn we hafta debate on wed to see who ish the best agn...haiz..lame...i kinda switched wif a gerl in Magdelene's grp..i feel guilty but the tcher in charge saed as long as the gerl noes..its okie..tmr i haf praktis..i tink its wif Mr Barry Woolhead..omg..a caucasian debate trainer...*drools*...expertise i guess...

I wrote this poem while waiting for Irene to finiz her trials..hope u like it..comment ya??

I hear the leaves rustle but they speak nothing but lies
I see them creeping gently n yearning for our cries
Its hard to avoid them,its hard to escape
As their insidious vines creep up to my nape
My attempts were futile n i had to give in
The patter of the rain readily cleansed my soul
Alas those shrubs retreated to their everyday hide
They scramble n cower to get outta sight..

I gort my own locker but its practicalli so kloz to the ground i gotta kneel down for it..at least mine ish next to Xin Xian so we can bullshit while taking books n wad nots...kampetai!!

caught a razor butterfly at - 9:36 PM |

__goodbye

Monday, April 11, 2005

For those who want to enquire about my absence todae and my early departure..all i can say ish i had to leave early coz of sum family thing...I did a little tribute to Uncle Anthony...

A Long Goodbye

The chapter had ended
From endless time
From days of yore
To the hours divine

You fought for might
and struggled through days
As we prayed all night
For a smile on your face

They didnt believe in you
Nor did they support
Spouse..kids n relatives too
As the days deteriorated in your image

The time has passed yet we cry
Of the regrets we had in the past
To live n of course to die
In prayers littered with our hopes

Let's all put our hands n pay a deed
To a great man of virtue
Neither gave in to any other need
Then to see the glee in a new day

well SYF has passed..and we maintained a silver..all i can say ish u reap wad u sow..dun get too complacent ya?..it might b detrimental...

caught a razor butterfly at - 10:42 PM |

__fear not

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Lessons were a bore yesterday or should i say boar..haha..practicalli everytin was in slow motion..being a bio rep seems to have piles and piles of duties but i am happy i guess...its weird being a rep..i was a student councillor in the past so doing duties like such dun realli erk me or anitin..haha..The highlite of the day was band..haha..i saw Hui Xian on the way to my klasses n asked her whether she was sure on not joining the band..n she saed she ish most likely going to join humanities club or sumtim...She questioned my commitment for band n i exclaimed i was generally an enthu kinda person n was rewarded wif a smak on the arm..haha...Thn after lunch wif the gang n Cai Xiang who saed my wanton noodles had semen in it...i went to the library wif Shar n Yina..Shar took a table to herself as my table was cluttered wif both Yina's n my stuff..I was listening to my iPod while Yina was listening to her radio...Thn the whole gand of Cai Xiang..Yvonne n Zoe came...thn they were laughing and wad not n i cudnt help but smile n laugh too...

Haha..after that Zoe n me accompanied the gang to send shar off for her SC interview...she was pretty stressed out..not to worry babe..evnthough the stewpid SC din accept u..u will alwaes be a SC to us..ur indeed to good for them...i expressed my concerns abt fouling up during band...hahax..she saed not to worry..she's great..During band we had a short practice of sectionals as we were waiting for Ms Chan to return frm RV for band...Kenny saed my intonation improved..hoooooray..i met Shi Rong..the other junior tubist..yeahx..hahax..band was fun man..Ms Chan kept on joking and all..evnthough me n Dean din realli catch sum of her jokes..i feli good during band..the song of choice will be Banja Luka..cool..Bass will be playing two melody lines..i loike..hahax..one imitates the flute will the other imitates the trombone..we haf a soprano sax solo..tink zoe ish playing it...hope so..if not it ill be julaiha..yeahx..band will be sectionals next week ue to the secondary school band syf..wish my friends in WWCB all the best..i will try my best to make it guys..but i cnt promise..i realli wanna see ur victorious event..the same experience i had in the past...

The days past by in silence..and i seek refuge in my memories

caught a razor butterfly at - 10:17 PM |

__sacrifices

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Yummmm..i juz had my dinner of macaroni..yummy..aniwae todae i had tp take the path to school alone since Dean decided to go astray after i alighted the 19o bus..So when i reached school i suddenly felt abit lost..the feeling was an ounce similar to that i felt in SAJC..hmmm..pondering about myself..soo when i reached the parade ground the sight of my klassmates lightened me up instantaneously..The Humanties Club was organising the Nite Jaunt once again..its where students go on a nite expedition around the creepiest n scariest places in Singapore..like old changi hospital n where not..for this year the trip to the Night Safari would be an added bonus..unfortunately i cannot go wif my other klassmates n schoolmates due to my obligations to band,,me n zoe r in the same situation..yup..sacrifices must be made ion order to achieve gold..

Apparently my GP tcher has lotsa experience or so she says..basically she was trying to cover her butt coz pple saed she aint as interesting as the younger n youthful tchers around..she made us do an essay on "Is it better to be different or to conform?"..tts wen i knew my klass was teeming wif english distinction students..omg..i am sooo dead..Aniwae i wrote kinda minimal compared to the others..hopefulli mind lives up to the adage of "quality rather thn quantity"..Bio was okie n chem n maths was kinda fun...especially the part where Shar n Partiban act-act fight in klass...i was laughing like mad..evnthough i dreaded Malay..it was that bad..hahax..Cikgu Hajjis acquired all our emails..hmmm..wonder fer wad...

I went for band sectionals todae..u dunnoe how hard i am trying to improve my intonation n sound..i am trying to prevent my sound frm being to edgy..thn on our way to yuhua to kollect my tuba we [ as in Dean Michelle Kenny and Fauzy..all my seniors ] met Lydia..i talked to her about the debates..apparently i can onli join debates on a contract basis du to my obligation to band..haha..u noe that the choir pple asked me to go for practice at 6pm..i i din go..feel kinda bad..aniwae back to the point Lydia said Melissa the president mentioned onli barely two who have the potential for the sch team n i am one of them..hooray..but i haf a prob coz Melissa ish cracking her head trying to put me into the team coz of band..Lydia commented on my passion n love for band to sacrifice time for two CCA's..haiz..i juz wanna be part of Arts Soc n Band..tts all i am asking for..i pray for that...

" I want a guy who will treat me like a Queen! " ----- Tanya's words.
I will definitelt not treat the gerl of my dreams as a queen n neither would i treat myself as a king..i would treat her the way i treat myself..wif the deepest respect n love..but till then..i walk the path alone..in search of you....

caught a razor butterfly at - 7:36 PM |

__first

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Honestly i feel so reluctant to pen todays thoughts here...my body ish yearning to feel the warm caress of my cosy bed..haha..okie..so i am back from a sick day..big bang in fact..during bio lecture the bio tcher was kolling names to answer her questions..." okie now for o5so4..Solomon ish solomon here..wait a minute ish it Jaryl George Solomon.."..well thats my cue for me to feebly wave my hand to answer her question on the difference btwn a plant cell n animal cell..."Errmm..in a plant cell there ish an abesence of microvilli whereas in the animal cell..microvilli are present in selected areas.."...The teacher commended me..hooray..well i noe she juz saed "GOOD!!"..but its a form of commendation nonetheless..Lectures n tutorials were short to my fortune...but i had band after school...B4 band i met up wif Hui Xian n we chatted..though she wasnt keen to join band she followed me nontheless..on the way to the CCA noticeboard i noticed this...:

Congratulations to those who made it thru for the selections/auditions...

Choir..

1.sumbody
2.sumbody
3.Jaryl George Solomon
4.sumbody

Arts Society [ debate wing ]

1.sumbody
2.sumbody
3.Jaryl
4.sumbody

Band

1.sumbody
2.Jaryl George Solomon
3.sumbody

omg...i made it thru 3 seperate CCA's...omg..hahax..i gotta forego choir i guess...heard that Lydia said i was one of the btr speakers for the debate wing..well i hope it earns me a spot in the sch team..honestly i wanted to join the student council but i tink it wld be too time consuming n moreover pple tend to bad-mouth the SC..apparently the art society peeps n SC are in a row..time for me to get in..hahax..Band was kool..its nice to be a junior n for ur SL to help u..Kenny ish my SL..nice fellow...he saed i improved todae abit..tmr gort sectional again to practise..i so gotta be a gd tuba player for the SYF..the band peeps r nice..though the long ours might deter me from band..i tink i will strive for the best...kudos..

As the days past..the feelings grow fainter..i am starting to see the light at the end of the abyssmal tunnel...its no use crying now..lets all juz look upon the future...

caught a razor butterfly at - 9:42 PM |

__siLent weeK

Monday, April 04, 2005

My oh my...wad a week..and i didnt evn bother to update this place i call my blog haven..how blasphemous...well...i guess its neber too later to put my two cents worth into this place...Lets start off shall we....

Friday...

I had my award's day in WWSS..I came clad in my PJC uniform n tie..everyone in the general office was like clapping n cheering as if i were the valedictorian whn in actual case i came no wer near to being one.Aniwae during the ceremony Melvin n Benny were asking me to take off my tie caoz it seemed "ugly"..well too bad..i gort pride man..i may not come frm SAJC or JJC but i like PJC alort..n i hope everone respects it too..Halimatus mum saed she missed me a lort n i look so cute..hmmm...Talked to Ms Kok as she was beaming at me the whole day..had sum gleeful moments wif my dudes n dudettes

Saturday..

We began "trekking" to block 120 to perform our CIP task...i was grouped wif Tanya n Yurong n we started collecting papers n knocking on the doors asking for recyclable materials...ran up so many flights of stairs but it was truly fun..i was waving at Pratiban from across the blocks like some kind of hooligans...Thn we loaded the stuff n went for luncies...i ate wif Yuan Xiao n Irene since the rest decided to indulge in the unhealthier alternatif of McD.Thn went band n ate somore...

Sunday..

Studied wif the charmed ones n made a fool of myself....the end!!

Mondae..

Its the second last day of mass lectures..alleluia..aniwae during the phototaking juz now ..the photographer told me i gort no hope in smiling so i shld not show any pearly whites during the photo taking...sooo disheartening..aniwae i juz like grinned..how embarrasing..honestly i cant realli remember todays happenings..well i did go to church to pray for the passing of the pope..

Its sad to know that we are two worlds apart...i tink i love you..maybe its too late..you're not wad you're made of..you're not wad i am looking for..i tot u were the rite one..guess its juz the lonesome path from now on..thanks for being there..i think its my fault..i will forget the feeling..i will release the pain..its all downhill from here...love u nonetheless..in clandestine moments

caught a razor butterfly at - 9:45 PM |