I dare you to catch razor butterflies

__ god dammit

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Purpleblizzardry,
Others may be telling you what you're feeling [hell yes bitches ], and it seems you might be the last person to know [ erm like totally on the dot! ]. This is because your moods are visible to everyone [ especially my class girls ] as the Moon moves through your sign[ kiss my ass puh-leese ]. Additionally, its alignment with Neptune can muddy the emotional waters [ fucktard ] and your perspective. It's best to wait a few days before making any important decisions [ is suicide important as a decision? ].

geee. life isnt so fun anymore now. i've got no mood to joke around.
yesterday was the most horrible

in the morning, i usually board the bus at an earlier time but the bus 187 REFUSED to arrive early. damn i knew it from tht moment that everything would have gone downhill.

i usually see this blind woman [ whom i respect very much for travelling on the bus independently ] and tht day was no different
when she alighted i walked in front and i made her drop her walking stick

GOD I FELT DAMN BAD

i picked it up and placed it into her hands
i nearly cried man
i was so insensitive

when i reached school after running like a mad chihuahua
i received a bombshell news
grrrrrr
now ms tan is involved
and "thanks" to the gerls for acting it out to her.
Litereature class was horrible

i've lost my closest friends. everything is falling apart.

im sorrie deepa
im sorrie rezwana
im sorrie irene
im sorrie sharhana
im sorrie syf drama cast for not taking things seriously
im sorrie samantha for stealing the peer coach title
im sorrie leedeeya for messing things up
im sorrie dean for not being there
im sorrie haziq for being insensitive

im sorry..

when everything goes wrong ; we can only move along

caught a razor butterfly at - 10:18 PM |

__ weirdness 101

Thursday, April 20, 2006

CONGRATULATIONS AND CELEBRATIONS!

i'm very gay [ happy not homosexual ] that ACE IS OUT OF AMERICA IDOL!

i seem to have this urge to punch all those hottie-wannabes and good looking guys!
grrrr. c'mon, i know america was just keeping him in for the eye candy factor and the fact that he is able to reach high notes just makes me contemplate the presence of testosterone in his blood.

yeeeeaaahhh,

anyway i was walking innocently under this tree and when i peeked up i saw this black bra just " chilling on the bough " of the tree.

FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

i think the pigeon was intending to nest in it. lets see, one cup holds two eggs?
its either ERO has come up with a new variety of bras tht allows u to camouflage ur cleavage in the trees or some lunatic woman jumped up the tree and fell off topless leaving her bra as proof of such an endeavour!

anyone interested in a boyfriend?

i dont mind being a gay boyfriend. SUPER LOL! call me at 8191****

i provide quintessential services!

not THAT kind of services u perverts!! more of like cleaning n smooching! yeehaw!

yeah as if im some kinda casanova witha hot bod!

anyway,

things in the realm of friendship has become abit topsy.
i wonder if people gossip about me the same way people gossip about you-know-who
*ponders*

I MISS ALEX! HE HASNT BEEN ONLINE! boo..

oh remember i said tht pjc is a zoo

so true. we got attacked by a wasp last economics tutorial. the whole class was disrupted while i guffawed uncontrollably. eventually the bee whammed itself into the fan and sailed through the air and landed on the floor.

- 1 minute of silence for the fan for going through such a trauma -
- another 1 minute of silence for the wasp which helped us add colour to econs -

ahh brave souls, brave sould indeed

DRAMA HAS BECOME SO COOL!

we had to come up of characters for our chorus

Me: Hi my name is obisome and im a coward
Coach: WHAT??!!
Me: ooobiiiisooooom
Coach: im sure u mean OBISEM! the other pronounciation sounds so KAMPONG! JARYL WERE U A MAT IN YOUR PREVIOUS LIFE?

boo. so much for creativity. ahaha

im so gonna fail my king lear test today. all i understand is that the all die eventually. hooray!
if only i could make the characters in Pride and Prejudice die too, then it would be exciting!

and i realised the China scholars in Pjc speak way better thn the cheena losers in school!

Scholar : When me and my friends were in the hostel, we went to babiQ!

LOL!!
ahh the joy in being me.
the nasal sex addicition in class has died down
thank god

caught a razor butterfly at - 8:42 PM |

__ random thoughts

Sunday, April 16, 2006

wahhhhhhhhhh. I have chopped off my gorgeous follicles on top of my balding head.

MY CHANCES OF BEING A PLUS-SOZED MODEL ARE GONE LAH!

dumb hairdresser mutiliated my hair. boohoo! i think it looks like crap. Without waxing my hair i look like a long lost villager from the coasts of Timbukktu!

WHY WHY WHY WHY? If im hot, thn its fine buuuuuuut i naturally look like roadkill!

Talking about hotties, here's a pic of Fabio [ the clean shaven pale guy ]. I got it from Denver. Wheee finally we got to chat ( with Denver i mean ) !

ya i bet all my female readers are drooling now! ~

DAMN U HOTTIES WHO STEAL THE GERLS FROM AVERAGE JOES LIKE MYSELF!!

i bet a million pieces of toilet paper that they're all gays!

HEARD THAT GERLS! THEY DESIRE MEN!! muahahahahahaha!

yeah what the heck.

Anyway my sister told me Jamie Cullum is gay. OMG! i swear she's secretly working for the National Inquirer. She even cited all the articles and evidence to prove his gay.

OH POOR JAMIE. ALL THOSE MONTHS U TURNED ME ON WITH UR JAZZY PIANO PLAYING ARE SO OVER!
boo hoo. sobs.

its been qte sometime since u guys saw some ludicrous action in my blog through photos so here goes!!

sheril looks drunk in this pic man! god

Dean never fails to amuse us huh?

i have suddenly loved school so much! im sucha nerd

anyway my new friend Alex Perez tried to be funny ytd during our chats!

REASONS WHY JARYL IS GAY

1. I have a gay sounding email : purplehippos_canfly@hotmail.com
2. I'm in Drama
3. I know more gay terms than him

damn! but i love chatting with tht dude! he labels himself 7 on the HOT METER. not bad rite!

ahahahah!

yay! school tmr!

GLORIOUS BITCHING!

caught a razor butterfly at - 9:22 PM |

__ like oh my god!

Saturday, April 15, 2006

closure of another week huh? in a sense yes and no. Its been rather turbulent but what the heck.

my sister has evolved into a nerd at Primary Six level. She scored full marks for her science tests. yes TESTS! PLURAL! and while studying for her test she gave me this snippet of info -

my sis : Do you know if u rub two breasts together u can create friction. Friction causes fires.

wow. Talk about a revamp in the syallabus. they should introduce sex education as a PSLE subject. Sure my sister will get top honours! Well in more ways than one, she's like me.

before i go on, i would like to say that i got a FREAKING BAND 1 FOR MY PROJECT WORK!
YAY!!!!
When Daniel told me, i got dizzy. Maybe it was running 10 rounds non-stop. OMG!
Mrs Yeo said that only 5 % in Singapore have Band1 students.
Like how cool is that!
My mom is uber proud since this is like a first bounce since my retainee crap.

and for all those who have watched my weight loss statistics closely - bad news

I GAINED A KG!
DAMMIT! I SOUND LIKE A GIRL LAH! DISCUSSING WEIGHT LOSS!!

boo

I really enjoyed yesterday. im not bragging but ytd was the first time i was praised academically. [ in chronological order ]

First Praise - Ms Tan : How's school Jaryl? Your Econs teacher said that u have a very good working attitude and your really trying your best in Econs.

Second Praise - Mrs Yeo : WELL DONE AND CONGRATULATIONS FOR UR PW JARYL!

Third Praise - Ms Lim : Class if u want good examples of bio essays please read those done by Jaryl

Fourth Praise - Ms Chua : Eventhough Jaryl didnt know what he was talking about, whatever he saed is relevant as a univerisity thesis paper topic and point.

ahhh. those words. those pure orgasmic words.

anyway we were discussing about sex. as in the lit students or rather some of us plus En Liang. En liang is gross lah. he saed there is such a thing as Nasal sex.

CAN U IMAGINE THAT?
HAVING SEX WITH A NOSE.

ewww. i know a nose holds two nostrils so that equates to double the pleasure, but still! ITS A NOSE! gross. imagine all the boogers mixed with semen.
wow! concoction made in heaven!

i have so much homewerk and tests to study for. hooray for J1 life. seriously its more interesting and exciting now!

oh ya! a squirrel visited us during drama!

squirrel : WASSUP BITCHES! I CAN ACT TOO!

the gerls all screamed and i guffawed like a loony asshole! Marian had to save us by opening all the LT doors and risked her head being victimised by the squirrel. poor squirrel. I bet it was trying to audition the part of the armadillo in our play " Feeding the Armadillo ".

Honestly PJC is like a zoo. Besides all the other animals we call students, i've met squirrels, snakes and monito lizards in school campus. Hooray!

im in love with TSUBASA CHRONICLE AND THE SOUNDTRACK TO IT!
random i know!

anyway have u guys watched the vid of "pump it" by the BEP?

take note of the last part where Fergie [ the female singer ] fights n flaunts her boobs!
LIKE WTH!
SHE BLASTED THE GUYS WITH HER BOOBS LAH!
inhumanely possible
if it were possible i know of a few pple who would have blasted me away with the momentum of their mammary glands. like eew!
so not HAWT!

cant wait for tmr ! I SMELL MUTHYA'S CURRY! ahaha
yeah right!

caught a razor butterfly at - 12:28 AM |

__ revival

Thursday, April 06, 2006

SCREW THE BLOODY HIATUS!

obviously all those lazy bum crap i've been having for the past month has finally ceased! Hooray! I would like to say that,

I'M BACK BITCHES! WATCH OUT!

okay for those who caught American Idol 5 on television, please raise your hands if you thought the result show was a total blasphemy!
*raises hands*
Like WTF is wrong with america! c'mon i bet even those ah peks, ah sohs, ah bengs and ah lians would have chosen a better LOSER!

grrrr. first it was Lisa thn now Mandisa. I hope Singapore idol wont be a downer because the advertisements are seriously turning me off. Whoa Whoa Whoa! i hope the new judge Jacintha whoops ass!

anyway. a darling tribute to Mandisa

i can almost imagine her saying

" Screw you Paris. I'll be back to whoop your damn assholes you pimps in Americal Idol "

ahh. sweet nonchalance. I love you Mandisa! you've been my beacon of light in terms of weighty issues. Let us lipids-based people succeed in life. * lipids = fats *

Anyway for p.e today, it was rather exhilarating.

I did 12 pull-ups. Let me rectify that statement.
I did 12 ASSISTED pull-ups
I did 12 ,ASSISTED BY 4 GUYS, pull-ups

im so gonna "pass" my NAPHA test. the joy in that. grrrr. and someone from the canteen actually clapped when i was finish with my pull-ups. golly.

- during gp -

Ms Sarizah hands out a worksheet with " sex " as the theme

Ms Sarizah: okay class we are gonna talk about POPULATION
Me: WHAT??? COPULATION??

can u blame me? Freudian slip man!

goodness. the rain almost pelted me to death today. thank god for my weak umbrella which was only able to shield my frontal portio of my frame. bleargh!

eh!

Have you guys seen the contestants of Ms Universe Singapore?

only thing i can compliment them about is tht all the finalist have proper names. Nothing CHEENA! thank god. i would have puked if , lets say , Woo Ming Beng would have won. SOOOOO CHEENA! but not this year! we even got a scientist as a contestant. wah. im impressed!

wheeee. drama or debates! grrrr im torn! but my heart totally belongs to drama now.
we picked rubbish at East Coast yesterday. Jing met her prospectuve husband.

he was like adjusting his thong like swimming trunks and kept stealing glances at us. He kept on picking his privates lah. what the hell. so not a turn on. Well thats beside the fact tht he looked 50 yrs old. ahaha. and we found a little sprout at the exact spot he was picking his trunk at. golly talk about rejuvenation!

im like dying in econs and geog! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
save me!

boohoo!

i cant wait for the tests next week and for drama.

daddy, you brought this upon yourself
you'll never know the fear
you'll never know the hurt
never, until now

im not the Jaryl you know, there's definitely more than meets the eye
im so happy i got WeiLiang, Joyee, Noreen, Deepa and Hikari to get me through in class.

Where'd you go
i miss you so.

caught a razor butterfly at - 9:29 PM |