I dare you to catch razor butterflies

__ peneral gaper

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

well if you noe the art of SPOONERISM u would noe that my title actually spells general paper. yup hmmmm lets analyse the situation

Paper 1 ---- fail
Paper 2 ----fail
Overall ---- fail

hahah...NOT!! i better not fail or i'll kill myself. My paper 1 questions were all so crappy. i couldnt even think of a suitable topic to write so i settled on something that need some spicing up " To what extent do you agree that children are losing their childhood in today's world" damn i think my intro and conclusion kinda mixed up, totally distorted beyond recognition or in layman terms " sucks to core man!"

Paper 2 was about blogging..wad a conincidence..hooray but i think i kinda screwed up the AQ section. crap so muc for GP hahh...monday is malay ..i better get above hundred man as in upon 180 marks. i really really need a B in malay...

argh..hope i pass man and pass well...

TO ETERNITY AND BEYOND!!

p.s my friend told me that when i boarded the bus some PJC dude checked me out. LIKE HELLO! i'm aint a gay or bisexual...keep ur eyes in ur own sockets..but then again its nice to no someone fancies me...YEAH RITE!! hahahaha i'm not against them but i rather not be them..

till another day...screw ur eyeballs into ur sockets ya??

dusk engulfs yet i squirm to live in the putrid destiny of the live today

caught a razor butterfly at - 12:54 PM |

__a day of revival

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I seek solace in the whispers of the wind
Yearning for the answers that are desperately out of reach
When will i learn that the end is cometh closer
When will i learn to . . .

I cant believe it! i am in one of my depression modes again. And my freaking promos start tomorrow. SHEESH talk about the emotions that i am doused in now. crap !! ooooo one happy thing that i overlooked to mention was that i got highest for GP essay 43/50 woooohoooo
Unfortunately i am a staunch believer of luck and therefore have concluded that it was all a fluke for me to get highest. yeah oh well maybe i would have my opportunity to rant and vent out my frustrations on controversial topics tomorrow. I hope something comes out about the gay culture or something, i could work with that.

The days seem to be in slumber allowing dusk to furrow in the skies. Yet again one of my friends said that i have a very Lit persona. Damn! should have taken lit man! i seriously miss Literature. Chemistry is literally killing me. Who cares that phenol and wadeva crap can be oxidised or that a silver mirror can be formed from Tollen's reagent. Its not like i am going to use it in my everyday speech

" U noe i saw Sammy making out with that girl. I could test for his sperm using Fehling's Solution" puh-leese .. i see hyperbole in my entry today.

oh well i seriusly think that i am wasting my time in school today should have freaking skipped it!!

damn it!!

hope i do well for promos...last minute cramming is my forte!!

caught a razor butterfly at - 11:33 AM |

___dripping wet

Friday, September 23, 2005

Each time i reflect on my choices i am dowsed with regret and nothing about regret. I still wished i had given SAJC a chance, i still wished i had studied really hard for the O's to obtain a better grade. But nonetheless i chose PJC for a reason and i think the reasons are slowly being diluted to nothing but plaintive silence. I wished my life was so much better. yeah i have the friends and would guarantee that they are the ones holding me strong but still .. I wished that my wishes had come true. The exams are creeping closer yet i feel that all my " studying " was just a mirage. I'm not be sadistic or anything but in a way i'm happy that my class spirit is breaking up.Finally their true colours are shown. Finally we noe that we should unite and prove that tyrant wrong. Haiz what i would give to be back in the past, just me in my dream world sitting next to Limin and Xiyee..i miss them so much, we crapped so much till the teachers wanted to separate us. Damn were those just memories. I hoped they're doing fine.

I'm sorrie Rez...sorrie that i've been a dunderhead. I'm sorrie that all i can do this few days is to sulk and insult you. I'm sorrie that i cant be a good friend. No matter how much i try to change myself. i still think that i am dumb...stewpid and ugly..yeah i guess ur right, I do have a low self-esteem. I dunnoe..maybe its all those moments when i felt that i never did belong. I wish that we would be friends foreva. and if u dont see me by ur side next year..remember me in your heart.

Maybe all my dreams of being a zoologist might be wasted. Maybe all those dreams of inspiring kids about literature would fall short. Maybe all those dreams of being successful and making my parents and friends proud would be illusions in my head. Maybe just Maybe, i don't think i would allow that to happen. I'll fight all the way..till my energy drains out. i'll fight alrite...as long ur there by my side.

of all the tears i cried...
i think the end of glee has come...

______________________________ just wished _________________

caught a razor butterfly at - 2:13 PM |

____ just a step away

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I'm just a step away ... from

dying
crying
killing myself
making my freinds cry
laughing
promos
being a musician
my friends
the end of me
life
happiness
sorrow
dreams
tests
lessons
tutorials
lectures

most of all

i'm just a step away from you

yet u don't noe it...

caught a razor butterfly at - 11:47 AM |

___sing to dusk

Friday, September 16, 2005

PHEW!! the week has ended.. hurray ! yeah and i am one week closer to the dreaded promos. I'll try my best to provide up to the minute commentary at how sad and horrible my experiences with the exam papers would be. haha aniway i had the most exhilarating and thrilling time in my life ytd. During p.E we had rock-climbing and i truly enjoyed it. Though i tried many times to reach the top [ i was only one stewpid stepping stone away ] i was really glad that i have gone really far this time. I wasnt even afraid to fall, thanks to all my frens hu helped me along he way. During the study time in the Art Soc room we all retired from the dull of books and onto the track for a race with computer chairs. We were racing around the track at 9pm while people in the canteen were staring at us. woohoo i made a difference man !! yeah baby.. i'll foreva rmbr ytd nite.. Dean, me , Rezzy and Lydia.. we're mad people...

Somehow i totally not regret the bitterness in PJC just becoz of them.I do agree that i have been lugging a hefty amount of regret about certain choices i made but i am gradually coming into terms with it. Lets call it fate. I really cant wait for the enrichment day in school. I think i would sign up for the Marine Animals course , Homosexuality and juggling. All very controversial yet part of our lives nonetheless.

Ur friend whispered that u were waiting for me
was that a lie or was i just over-reacting
the time has passed and i succumb to the future
lets just wait i guess
maybe it was all a dream
maybe its not

when u saed u were waiting for me and wanted to go home with us did u mean u ___________

or was it __________________

i'll never noe

caught a razor butterfly at - 1:34 PM |

___failure 101

Thursday, September 15, 2005

I think i am heading down the pathway of withering hope. the faith is now in the dark abyss. I failed my gp paper by one measely and plaintive mark. The passing rate in my klass was like 0% so i really cld have made a wonderfull improvement if i passed. Most likely i am the lowest in Malay Mock Exam. I only maaged to scrape passed to a C6 grade. I really do not noe what i am heading onto. Head on crash to nowhere i presume.

Its becoming a waste of my time.

till the flame extinguishes in thou putrid slumber
i lie awake in depth-less pensieve
forging never to be manipulated by emotions
as i slash my wrists with your words
i'm bleeding but the blood doesnt flow
ur the support that nowan noes

i hate to say this but .....

i _____________ you and the word to be filled in the blank aint " love "

go figure...

caught a razor butterfly at - 4:00 PM |

__farewell my doggiepoo

Friday, September 09, 2005

Maizura is the hottest and richest " bitch " that will conquer PJC if she paiseh cannot reach SAJC !! oh well we're at her house taking distorted pictures of our sexual orientation..i bet u noe hu ish gay DEAN!! nah actualli its me wakakaka..okie okie nowans gay in maizura's house..we're all just making parodied moments..i really hope that my bachelor penthouse would be as kool as this.

anyway today was another hard-hitting day in the turbulent world of being me. I spent a whole 15-20 minutes in Catrina's cage playing with her..it was really fulfilling i guess. it felt rather surreal coz i was actually spending time with a puppy. She got adopted by a caucasian girl who looked kinda hot in fact but unfortunately half her skirt was ripped off by Catrina..hee hee woo hoo but if i were the dog i would have gone for her uglier panty line...bleah all i noe is that Catrina is in a better place now..a real home where they would love her .. the pound keepers let me keep her chewy toy as memory..yeah
at least i can play with ash and Catrina's sister when she becums well enuff to be adopted..i am beginning to learn life's values thru the animals and the people i meet at SPCA its way better than the shit in school

catrina in her cage * love her

ash playing with her toy bone

life's full of the social hierarchy..i am only the detritus present in such a caste system. sometimes i wished i never chose a JC but i know its the only way to help me achieve my dreams in the animal world..oh god give me the strength..i want to be strong for my friends and myself..

as the winter frost slashes me in the cold
i just weep tears of freedom
sometimes i hear the whispers of doom
but yet i ponder for a new lease of life

as the ball bounces to a new start of Dean's ass from maizura's hand i can just say paedophiles are becuming more rampant in todays society * points finger at maizura *

caught a razor butterfly at - 6:00 PM |

___destiny unfolds

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Sometimes i find it funny that i still regret about several issues on the JC system and choices...I will cry my eyes out if Rezzy retains man..hi really want her to make it thru i mean for both of us to do so..i am on shaky ground currently. haiz i just wished that my best friends would be beside me no matter wad. thats all i can ask for at this moment of time. Gluttony will only lead to my demise so why bother. Maybe i should not make any hasty decisions, being in drama would be really fun since i practically noe most of them well except for a handful and thts a great feat considering i wasted most of my time trying my best to fit into the social circle debates. As the days of yonder grow distant i cant help but look back at the memories and wished that i changed my god-forsakken life. The thing i am proud is that i am going back to curch on saturday to salvage the broken pieces of my religious faith. maybe thats the missing link to my horrile horrible life. i feel lost at times..i feel sympathetic yet i cant pinpoint what exactly went haywire in my pages in the book of life...

I really miss the animals at SPCA..tmris another day of volunteering and i can hardly resist the temptations to snuggle up wif either Ash or Catrina...i just wished i would understand the btr..Snuggling up to the animals really help...yeah

one day when i become influential enuff i shall write abook abt the escapades i hadin life and hope it to be a literary text for students like myself. Though it might seem rather farfetched itdoesnt really hurt to hold on to that dream...well maybe that dream would keep me thru my life in JC...haiz the regrets i have cant be told for they speak of sins and secrets...

sometimes i just wished the winds would turn
that the kite i keep flying would indeed disappear in to the sunset
dusk keeps at my dreams
i noe one day i shall succumb to the fall
till then
i am still standing tall

for all the broken pieces of class, i stab myself with the melody of requiem

till death escorts me to eternal immortality....

caught a razor butterfly at - 1:50 PM |

__ 2nd place is good aint it??

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

The illustrious gloom n doom of being an eloquent and cynical junior college student has finally lost its lustre...woohoo.. to hell with those teachers who seem to want to be my friend in this god-forsaken hell-hole...Do not get me wrong.PJC rockz in the absence of the tyrant whom i shall not name due to the rule of " speakth forth and u shllth be expelledth"..archaics are such a lame thing of the past u dopes!!

Well the competition went smoothly i guess..my lame-brain speech did not seem to grab the attention of anyone except my blubber..since everyone was complimenting Langer and Pris on their speeches...I am not jealous or anythingg but i did feel out of place as the well-respected Toastmasters from Chua Chu Kang seem to be engrossed with their speech...oh well 2nd place is good rite?...well let me be in my delusional world as i dwell on the fact that P is for Parody afterall....true parody in its splendour !!

OOOOOOOOOOOOO..over in the top model world those dumb bitches are getting more jumpy by the moment..as be commented by my mother " Tyra is getting uglier eh? " she sure is..it seems that the red heads are reigning this universe now..stewpid archie-lookalikes get a frigging life...maybe i should get into acting klass...drama rocks now..i guess....but sumwan is taking over me for now...welcome DEAN!! woohoo..queen of the tear-jerking moments but u and me noe that we do not appreciate such sappy shit!!...

Now as we all look forward to another day of term 4 next week all i can say is "don ur slacks for we are going for a ride" ! mr kwok a.k.a a ball is a pronoun...

yeah rite..

for all this years i have learnt one thing from JJC ... patience is not a virtue but rather a verb !!

thanks ms poh

and i love catrina more n more...i asked is her sister was in pjc..another bitch i presume y the name of P****** it rhymes with Catrina by the way...go figure... days in SPCA seem funner by the moment..love Ash n Catrina the most !!

caught a razor butterfly at - 11:37 AM |

__Life's like that

Friday, September 02, 2005

Another School term has ended in a flash yet i feel weary that the holidaes would just pass through my nimble hands. I just witnessed my GP teacher exclaiming " Excuse me U got to be joking " then breaking down into tears in the General Office. Is life suposed to be filled to the brim with all our tears and blood. Are we all nothing but pawns in this intricategame of chess. Sometimes i wonder whether my klass is realli going to break into many segments and my queries were answered. I guess PT realli hit a nervewith the klass, or maybe i am mistakern but it is weird that there is going to be a pet peeves session with him and my other fwen. Maybe the male species aint cut out for compassion and love. As the past tells us,we tend to be canibalistic and brutal, traits required to fulfill the quota of a rather absurd Darwinian theory. All we can do is this play along and maybe i will prove to the freinds i noe that not all males are that stereotypical.

I cant help but feel down i noticed.Hopefully i would perk up...i would love to meet Jenna again at the pound.I miss her.Do not be fooled.She ish just a dog i really feel in love with. As the days pass i just wish that my dreams would come thru and that all those facades i carry would be broken so that all would noe the real me.

the sky is painted the colour of dusk
leaves are whispering the words of spite
dont leave me to cry in the onyx shadows
i have yet to yearn for the care
Sometimes i think it might be over
And sometimes i noe i'm there
From this moment the cicadas will cease their song
For the swallows to chirrup in poise

to my dreams n hopes......ON GARDE!!

caught a razor butterfly at - 3:02 PM |