I dare you to catch razor butterflies

__the truth

Friday, August 26, 2005

I'll never break in ur vice grip. I refuse to falter in the wind. One day the truth will come out and u guys would be ashemed to be called my friends. I tot we were honestly..i was so comfortable till i heard that it was all a facade. I tot maybe was schizophrenic..i tot i was hallucinating but its true u guys really think we're THAT dumb. No way am i gonna allow that to happen. No way am i going to let u guys manipulate me and to set me in the trenches licking my wounds. I'll be there at the dawn of the new day along with my comrades whom u dissed. Till then continue on woth the facade..and the masquerade..it sure beats a Halloween Party

see you in hell my friends...

the soul i seek is young and meek
yet the dusk has engulfed thee
i cry yet the scorn betrays
to defy and obliterate me
there's nothing left..there's no return
a dream was true of it all
I'll wait until the moon has lit
for u i am ready to befall

the time i spent ytd was really lovely.somehow i noe the drama team rockz but am i up to it to join them. i hope so man!!..till another study session i long for...missing the AS room and the dude and dudettes who dwell in it....

caught a razor butterfly at - 3:10 PM |

___the time has cometh

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Hooray!! i have yet to pass a friggin chemistry and maths test! oh well i guess its destined i am bound to be a roadsweeper... nah i wouldnt work in Singapore then..most probably i would be in Romeo and Juliet terms " Capulet loveMontague..and that cant happen to i would do the world a favour and drink poison in pretence and then kill myself with dagger to act all noble ! " yurp i rather be exiled from Pioneer Junior College!!

Muahahah. I've invaded. YAYYY!!!
All hail me!!!!!
Guess who?
MEEEEE!!!!

after that short interruption from my disturbed fwen we shall continue on to the legacy that has been bestowed upon myself..hmmm..i feel rather down i guess..my name has been finally scraped off the band namelist yet i feel some remorse for reasons i myself am confused with. Mr Wong noes that i quit PJCSB and yet he is still clings onto the faith that i am an unfaltering flame in a winter's night. Why do people haveso much faith in me?..why do they believe in my words?..

Yesterday i was realli comfy in the presence of the Art Soc Dudettes a.k.a Rezzy, Lydia and Noni plus Valerie .. yurp Lydia and Rez are the sweetest..they realli made me realise that i am not that bad of a fellow..i do have my strengths and i am definitely not UGLY!! lydia saed i was cute..awwww ...hahaha in ur face all u stewpid hotties hutink ur cool!!

yeah nontheless we cannot escape the social hierarchy in pjc...its all around us...oh well i really do hope eeryting would be fine..i got an english proficiency test by the nation of Hongey Kongey!! hahaha..yeahbet they would frown at my manuscript and spit " Sinagaporeans..really a bunch of donkeys !! "

oooooooo donkey rhymes with honkey!!

guess the past really wounded me

i miss you..each day i see u ur one step closer to me yet i decide to walk in the opposite direction..think i am deluded..its all a case of fancy only i think..nothing more...anyway like i alwaes say " Who'll love me ?? "

will you......

caught a razor butterfly at - 12:23 PM |

___a story of facades

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I never should have believed u guys.Though u guys would always be tue to me.Guess not..now i am left to fend for myself in the vindictive winter storm.I cant believe it..i guess i kinda knew that the whole glory of being in such a community wouldslowly diminish with time but i never expected it to just sip out of my ands like the minute grains of hand in my hands.I feel confused.. i tot we would fight all the way...i promised to that..i promised that we would make it through all theadversities..yet u did not heed the words i said..u treated them like air..took it for granted..now i can never trust the gentle speech of urs..i tot our friendship transcended time itselfyet u refuse to persevere..all i can say is goodbye..i still value that we have a special bond..and will forever be by ur side..when u need me..

Its sad i guess..my feelings can fluctuate very vigorously.I noe its nothing much but i find that memories are all coming back to me..they seem to invade my mind..those painful memories are the ones manipulating my mind.I just wished i could forget abt all of them,forget that deceit actually exists in our world...ya...all but a painful memory.

I feel rather confused.I tink that maybe i haf developed feelings for u.But ur everyti i am not.Ur so arty..i am so farty..humour masks my pain..yeah..aniwae..i dunnoe..i tink myabe i am just caught in a turbulent world...i tend to rsh into things..maybe its just a little crush..maybe just maybe i like you...

the facade is slowly breaking away
lets keep in like that

your beautiful..its true..but i noe i will never bewith you...
i believe u haf someone in ur heart..i wont even bother..u may tink we are friends and indeed we are but sometimes i long for u to just be mine..my little valentine..now i know it will all be a dream..as i fade into the darkness once more...

i ______ you... yes i do

caught a razor butterfly at - 12:24 PM |

__reminiscence

Friday, August 12, 2005

Oh well..the week has flown by.It was great..mainly due to the absence of school and the welcomed presence of the sweet smell of the holidays. Amazingly and definitely against my ' madagascarian ' will i was able to conduct several useful study sessions...hooray...i finally studied for my chem test super well but wif gloom and doom i foresee another fail grade in my chemistry. So far subjects failed are two - maths and chem..deathtoll 2 and still rising...sheesh.

Tomorrow is my Toastmaters' Club competition.I still hafen got a suitable topic to talk about.Rezwana suggested something along the lines of the dark side and goth..ooooooo...i loike..sexy darkness amidst the dark onyx of winters night..yup..plain old absent-minded doodling in this blog..soon people will start hijacking my blog the same way Xiaxue had hers...in mere attempt to ridicule my sad life..most probably they would post ugly and cgi-ied nude pictures of me..haha..i assure u..parents advisory is required man!!

Hmmm..in pensieve moment i am in [ yoda's influence upon my english] My friends...the bestest i have in klass are experiencing totally opposite situations..one just got attached while the other patched with her bf but rather treats the whole relationship as if he werent there anymore..awww...i extend my grievances..buuuuuuuuuuut..i am the lonely one ultimately..i just wish one day a female..[ not she-male or male-she ] would step up to me n just hug me and whisper sweet nothings into my ears...I did like a girl or shouldi say several girls.but either they have other crushes..or already attached..To be honest i am still infatuated with someone but i swear not to utter her name..i leave it to a clandestine relationship

as i walk down the aisles in college i doubt the trenches i am in.I still cling onto the hope of seeing my fwens in this school.I still look into the blurry horizon staring into it to search for a person i noe.I am running away from my challengers...and challenges alike.I will emerge victorious coz i have u by my side.U may not know it but ur the most important person in my life [ besides the obvious family i haf ] .. i am not sure i am in the right position to say i love u coz i am still lurking in the shadows..i am still a lone ranger..i am still me

the times are changing...its time to adapt//

i am waiting for u...coaz i believe..

L o v e or sumtim along those lines..

aint for me...

caught a razor butterfly at - 2:08 PM |

__a lil indifferent wet blanket

Monday, August 08, 2005

Its different now..trust seems to be discarded like a rag doll that has lost its lustre. People seem to pass me by with nothing but a facade. Its too late my friends...i know that elusive secret..no use lying to me now..its irrelevant to my life..i gort my secret keepers. go get ur own u bitches and bastards..pardon the profanities but its deemed the most quintessensial part of my entry today. i find it rather turbulent that so many people keep on feeding me weird infos that this gerl like me..that girl likes u..all that hoohah...puh leese..haha..yup the attention is no doubt priceless but being in the limelight for too long would lead to consequences far more detrimental than a certain person's dental problem...[ no guess on who this entity is ].. as i was saying its weird i guess...like James Blunt says.." ur beautiful but the truth is i will never be wif u"..hmmm i might as well be an EFFING GAY!!..u dumb rimrods...I dig the new tone this blog is obtaining.

all i can say is that i love u Marion Raven and i shall visit Jenna my little butch at the SPCA..i am not being vulgar here cos she ish a female dog..all those stewpid females in pjc shld find proper residence at Mt Vernon coz i can definitely find a space for u be it the columbarium or a lodging at the SPCA. hmmm...i was sad for a little glimpse of time just now but nonetheless i am fine now...EFFEME FOREVA!!..yeah baby..soon i shall attain such fortune so that i can but a $1.50 badge depicting the rough and turbulent world i am in..

I AM GAY.ARE YOU?..stewpid assholes..screw u!...

i will prove u guys wrong...better start buckling ur seatbelts coz ur in for a ride...

a little poem for all my crush-wannabes

my tears speak forth of u
but only outmost tragedy will bring us as one
its too late now
the grains of sand have passed
just look on baby
dont u turn back
i will be here..all the way
coz as they say it i am GAY!!...[jus kidding..i am as straight as a curve rule]

woohoo...i am a crazy bitch..a male bitch to rectify it!!..DARN THIS EFFING COLLEGE WIF EFFING WEIRD STUDENTS..the rest i shall treasure..MR DUCK-SOUND [kwek kwek ] GO ROT IN ________ [ fill in the blank ] FOR BEING SUCH A WET BLANKET..TO ME UR A FREAKING PONYTAIL!!!..MANCHURIAN MY ASS!!

caught a razor butterfly at - 11:56 AM |