I dare you to catch razor butterflies

__ party poopers

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

i'm so gonna emulate maizura when i sae this but wad the heck. RAHHHHHHHHH!! and also a glorious HEEHIP!!

the BBQ at Tanya's house was inexplicably and totally exhilirating shit! okay.. i'll try my best to recall the events chronologically. we arrived at the condo and dean kept on bitching about the whole interior of the condo. Honestly, he bitches about everything and anything under the sun and thts why we all love him so much. Okay thn Me, Dean and Leedeeya practically became the hosts and hostess alike since "some" people decided to just sit on their smelly godforsaken bums *hint hint: they were all occupants of the friggin condo * it kinda pissed me off abit and it soon snowballed into a super bitchfest when a certain BBQ DICTATOR in the form of a 30 yr old aunty with the mentality of a senile asshole decided to reign all over us. poor dean.. i sympathise with u.. the ultimate piss off of tht day was this

Jaryl and Lydia : *glazing of the grill in progress*
BBQ bitch : Is it really necessary to have the aluminium foil?
Jaryl: *stunned*
= and the crickets went wild in the silence=
Jaryl : *finally gotten his composure* But how sure are we tht the metal grill would be clean?
BBQ bitch and her imbecilic [ extra ] minion : BBQ is in itself unhealthy. The carbon gives it extra flavour.

EXCUSE ME??.. EXTRA FLAVOUR??.. which farking planet did u come from. for goodness sake. UR A FARKING NURSE!! i shudder at the knowledge tht Singapore has such pple in the Health Board. ARGH!! calm down jaryl.. breathe in.. breathe out.. god i need yoga or pilates to nurse my emotions.

sooooooooo.. ya.. Tanya's uncle reminded me of my brother.. and he was sooo nice.. serving us and all tht.. goodness lah.. and we sat bitching while dean and I made weird noises to taunt certain " hotties wannabes " of close proximity from us. We did lotsa crazy stuff.. from walking.. hoping across the pool.. and all tht

We saw this French gerl dressed up in a red stunning cheongsam who made such an out-of-this world request to Yina. Get this : SHE WANTED YINA TO PUSH HER INTO THE POOL! Dean saed we communicated with a ghost [ tht french gerl ]. Seriously, i wont doubt him.

Yeah so we ranted and raved about all our disastrous sad lives as singles, all except Yina coz she is in a wonderful relationship. I was wearing the necklace Shaun gave her the whole day. I'm so shameless lah. Anyway at tht moment i really felt like i wanted a gerlfren.. honestly..

i dun want any Angelina Jolie [ since Aruna told me not to trust BIG LIPS ]

I might consider Kim from ANTM [ if she werent a gerl lover ]

I wouldnt mind snogging E.T [ but seeing he's attached to tht young lad with the torch, so ya wadeva ]

sooo.. i'll just shaddup and snog the best bunny in the world.. LAdies and Gentlemen meet my gerlfren:

aint he just the most gorgeous thing u've seen. Perfect teeth, sexy torso.. drools..

XIAXUE WATCH OUT!! JAEY IS SO GONNA KICK ASS!!

caught a razor butterfly at - 7:08 PM |

__memoirs/memories/memoribilia

Saturday, January 28, 2006

You scored as Stabbed. You will die from being stabbed. Yay.

Posion

73%

Stabbed

73%

Suicide

73%

Bomb

67%

Eaten

53%

Disappear

47%

Drowning

47%

Gunshot

40%

Disease

33%

Suffocated

33%

Natural Causes

33%

Accident

27%

Cut Throat

13%

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com

hooray.. so now i noe why i am so afraid of sharp objects.. coz i'll die at knifepoint. BLOODY HELL!! what is this man.. ahaha.. oh well.. if u see a knife sticking out from me.. it is NOT a joke. i was STABBED!! remember that!

I caught Memoirs of a Geisha yesterday with Dean. It was freaking good. Best thing was tht we sat together with an actual and authentic Japanese couple.. how cool is that. Dean saed the guy kept on grabbing his crotch. GOODNESS!! EROTICA IN THE CINEMAS!! During the adverts i laughed so loud tht my echoes of laughter was heard by all.. thn everyone started laughing forcing Dean to mutter: " I'm never going to the movies with you again.."
Thn during the show some prissy gerls were laughing at Dean went " SHHHHHHHH " so loudly.. talk about disturbance eh.. i wont be surprised the cinemas would ban us from watching movies..
there was this one scene [ or sumting similar ] where me and Dean almost ejected from our seats due to my nonsense.

Sayuri: Moshi moshi Mr Chairman [ actual movie version ]

Jaryl: Moshi Moshi my name is Sushi Mr Chairman.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... HIRE ME FOR YOUR MOVIES HOLLYWOOD!

everywhere we turned, the whole freaking place was filled with the snotty and brainy-wannabes from those top schs. They were like insects feeding on decomposing pop culture. They were eating at restaurants, brandishing their high-ranged and fashion-inclined bags, and spoke with fake accents. The toilet queues snaked all around due to this image-conscientious losers. Honestly, me and Dean were qte surprised to see so many of them. Almost emulated a scene frm some war epic film. Wished a bomb would have just fallen there and then wiping out the population of top students. I'm fully aware that not all top sch kids are like that, but those i saw yesterdae... totally despicable.. they almost bore the scent of cash and cheques.. okay tht was the total epitome of hyperbole.. super exaggeration..

Happy CNY people.. i'm gonna slack abit thn hit the books..

i learnt today that everyone lives in a Fairytale... A fairytale out of the Brothers Grimm

caught a razor butterfly at - 6:58 PM |

multi-faceted

Thursday, January 26, 2006

I noticed that when i'm sad or quiet it somehow affects everyone around me.. i was realli down-trodden yesterday. It was like a snowball effect situation. At one moment i was thinking about my ex-class, then it went to Lydia n Tanya leaving this stupid island and it then slowly drifted to my sec 4 life and yeah, u get the picture. I was abit frantic during Literature tho.. thn Mr Sas came and started squeezing my necky and patted my back.

Me: freeze.. giggles.. freezes
Mr.Sas: Why are all of you laughing ?. there's nothing wrong right Jaryl? Jaryl is my debater and drama student.
Me: *faints subconciously* uh-huh.. nothing wrong * faints again*

and to think that Dean actually saed ages ago that i would eventually emerge as Mr Sas favourite student. STEWPID DEAN SEE WHAT HAS HAPPENED?!!

ohh well.. after geog lecture i was kidding around with Ms Tan and then i used my black paper as a loud hailer as i started to sing " Argentina ".. goodness.. i was freaking lame.. then i sang a different version

me : Dont cry for me Singapuraaaaaa.. the truth is i loved Malaysiaaaaa.. All through our merger, and all our separation.. we became independent on 19-sixty fiveeeeeeeee.. woohoo southeast asia history rocks and i'm taking geog!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH.. i tink i'm gonna chase all my friends away.. i was like totally in shock tht i even came up with such a ludicrous and not forgetting impromptu crappy song. The Art Soc meeting was a blast n Mr Sas is really nice.. hmmm i see he is making effort with his resolution. FELIX BOUGHT 2 BOXES OF KUIH LAPIS! yum.. pandan/coffee

i so wanna be the next top arts student.. ahaha.. as deluded i am, i still want to hope..

grrrr.. have to work really hard.. syf training starts next week.. grrr.. OGL anyone??

caught a razor butterfly at - 9:27 PM |

__ i'll cry

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Blower's Daughter

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her skies

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off OF you
I can't take my mind off OF you...
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

i kept playing the above song over and over again.. as if hoping that the words would make a humongous impact on me. I think it hurts, notice i used the word think. Its rather ambiguos, these feelings i possess ; shapeless and identity-less. Goodness i really felt like i was going to breakdown when Lydia was chatting to me. It felt as though everything i clung onto so tightly is slowly crumbling.

Dear Lord,

Lord, Am i ready to embrace the truth?
Why take my hopes away?. Is it because i lost my faith in my religion?
Why take the few people who make me really happy to be in college away?
Why? Why am i so afraid to face the both you and the truth?
Will i accept my true self?..

I feel so shunned yet i am not alone. I feel rather ludicrous at this moment. I seem to be in a never-ending battle between me and my emotions. Will i ever see you again after you leave?.. Will i let you go?.. Will u let me go??.. u noe.. all of a sudden i'm not compelled to even go for CCA.. i feel like running away from any signs tht i wan once a Westwoodian.. why am i so ashamed of myself?.

fark.. realli.. pardon my primitive usage of profanities, but seriously.. a BIG fark. It hurts.. so bad.. and i don't understand why pple keep on saying tht i like someone. Seriously i do not. Period. No-one is in my life now. No-farking-one. Haiz. i just feel like crying yet again i feel like running thru the wind. and to just feel my hair sway in the breeze, knowing that ur save and sound.

I'll let go.. its the least i could do. I love you ya noe.. in more ways then one. I'll start embracing the times we have..

Tanya, Lydia, Rez , Yina

i miss you guys so much... its just not the same huh?.. same school yet we're not as close as before. I'm such a hypocrite. I love you guys so much. My words would not be sufficient to express how it was to be with u guys.

I hate my past.. I'm accepting my present.. i'm awaiting the future..

for you my clandestine identity.. i'll be here

caught a razor butterfly at - 11:13 PM |

__ lessons learnt

Saturday, January 21, 2006

.. I learnt lotsa stuff about myself this week.. here's a sneak peek

Lesson 1 : I'll never let go of the past

it just sucks i guess.. its hard.. i personally feel that i've not even attempted to be nice to my ex-classmates. C'mon lah Jaryl, stop being an ass.. shudders! I tink i'm actually afraid. I don't really miss them like before, i dont really feel like disturbing them with my presence anymore. I' such a hypocrite. Honestly... I still feel jealous tht i'm not in J2.. well maybe not jealous.. more of a sharp pain in my heart.. its qte difficult to get use to it.. but i'm trying.

Lesson 2 : I'm actually really small

well not physically but in a sense of my talents i guess.. i was at the debates n drama auditions and i realised tht i'm not really that good compared to the fresh J1's.. sometimes i feel so weird ya noe.. I love drama coz of all the pple and all dat. But since we're gonna get a new coach, i foresee tht i wont even get a role.. seriously.. i can't act.. haiz.. goodness.. talk about debates too.. suddenly i just feel so worthless.. i realli cant comprehend why i feel dat way.. god

Lesson 3 : I'll end up in hell

I havent even gone to church for so long.. damn.. i'm going to die and descend into the flames.. well Dean said we might die anytime so its better to repent.. crap

Lesson 4 : I'll never forget the past

dammit.. everytime i look at Jasmine i see a reflection of the gerl who literally wringed my heart back in secondary school.. honestly, who evers forgets and forgive?.. we cant really let go of the past until we accept it.

seems very touch and go eh?.. oh well.. hu cares.. I really love my class now.. 06A01.. tho u guys would pursue different areas of tertiary eductaion once u guys get ur results, i will always remember those times.. and oh yeah.. i made it to the O2 commitee trials but pulled out in the end..

caught a razor butterfly at - 8:43 PM |

__whoosh

Monday, January 16, 2006

WELL!! I LOVE 06A01 !! I'm sooo happy u guys are not nerdy or anything. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS SKIPPED RESEARCH SKILLS LESSON!! wow i'm realli impressed.. to day was fun n exhausting.. ahahaha no strength to blog baybehs!!

i got into the Orientation2 commitee interview.. i hope i can get in.. me n Wen Qi.. ahaha.. u go gerl!.. i had a nice short chat with Mdm Betty Tong.. goodness.. i miss her lessons.. i felt she was one of the few teachers who actually sincerely cared about my welfare.. i'm really happie.. happie to be in my current klass.. happy to noe tht i make pple laugh with my super hyper crap.. love u guys.. and i especially adore the westwoodians.. w/o u guys.. it would be ultimate bore dudes.!

debates was fine.. more of talent spotted.. ahaha all i can sae was i was totally petrified during Yong Soon's speech.. shall not elaborate.. ahaha or i might be flamed.. but goodness me, he is one damn passionate fellow.. ahaha.. yeah..

might seem short today.. i jus feel contented.. elated i guess... thanks for everything guys

caught a razor butterfly at - 8:56 PM |

__ another day

Saturday, January 14, 2006

okay so i got to witness the inhabitants of 06A01 finally.. Dean's lovers are in my klass.. ahahah other thn tht i onli look forward to hanging out with HuiLing, Farahin and Farah in klass.. for the time being that is. Hopefully the class would prove me wrong and jump out saying " WE FOOLED YOU JARYL!! WE ARE INDEED HYPER!! " till then i shall stick to my labelling of them as selenger bacins.. o0pz.. sorrie pple..

the critical reading lesson was a super bore.. i was super awake during geog and econz lecture tho.. amazing.. My CT is a human Geog teacher who graduated from JJC... not bad.. at least she has the correct definition of Lit students.. so everyone started introducing themselves.. the commonwealthians were saying stuff like " we got 20 pts so i chose pj " , " i screwed up my prelims "... i wanted pple to laugh so i saed " hi i'm Jaryl George Solomon, i screwed up my entire J1 so i'm here ".. as if on cue evryone started laughing..

Ms Tan: SHSSHHSSHH! don't laugh at him, he can provide u with invaluable information..

ermm... i wish i could..

drama was fantastic.. well.. tho not tht productive.. i managed to snake a preview of the new J1's and also laugh like a loony and roll on the floor during the diaphragm exercise..

talking abot diaphragms... BRITE IS SO SICK!! ahahaha.. no discussion there.. florence ran and smacked him hard with Hema's file.. ahahaha.. goodness.. we're mad people!!

ytd when i saw this family in the train.. tears welled up in my eyes as i suddenly realised how mush i wished i were a child again.. no problems.. no worrie.. jus playing all day.. sometimes i think we are forced to grow up to fast.. damn.. i wrote an essay on " childhood losing its flair " something along those lines lah, for GP promo last year.. the teacher saed i had a potentially powerful essay but only gave me like 20 plus marks.. boo!!

oh well... another day.. another time..

caught a razor butterfly at - 3:01 PM |

__ an ode

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Huiling if your reading this, i want to say a big thank you for hearing me out and do not worrie babe.. i'll read the wonderful book u lent to me . I realli loved the horoscope reading u gave me just now. i hope that it would come true. " if i decide to walk a different path, it will be more rewarding " ..

i'm officially a student of 06A01. Together with Farahin n HuiLing. I'm still getting used to the fact of having ACTUAL westwoodians as my classmates in school again, but it'll sure be fun. I know tht it would be fine.. well at least i hope. Geography lesson was fun and Ms Lee was so sweet to ask me whether i was fine with the lesson. gosh.. somehow i feel tht things are both falling apart and falling into place concurrently, well... tht just means there won't be any net movement n i'll just stagnate in between my turbulence.

I think it would be easier for me to let go of 05S04 once my friends move on. Its like once i reassure myself tht my friends don't really miss me so much, my mind would psychologically alter itself to attain such acceptance too. But as each day pass, i just find it harder n harder to let go. Life's unfair ; she plays with my memories n heart just like that. Once again, Rez saed she missed me.. but.. but.. i dun want you to miss me.. i want u guys to move on.. and do well and run away frm the stewpid college.. all tht i ask for is to not forget me.. just not forget me..

Transitional changes are difficult i guess... Drama.. 05S04.. myself.. randomness.. i feel so random.. i may laugh... i may smile.. i may cry.. but i wonder.. who is the real Jaryl?.. sometimes i just look across the canteen and feel nothing but astabbing feeling.. i feel like i want to cease waving aound like a loony, i want to cease all this attention.. i feel abit lost.. but at the same time i don't want anyone to be worried or concern about me.. jealousy/angst/hatred/fear/love

i think my mom is sad tht i chose to go arts.. sigh.. i don't noe wad to do..

escape from the grasp and fly away
soar through the skies to a better day
let go and forgive ; of the storms behind
for all we did ; pretence and blind
to say goodbye and see u go
would be nothing of a furrow
its okay, i'll be fine
thanks for being tht gentle flower in the breeze
we'll meet again..

i p r o m i s e

caught a razor butterfly at - 3:00 PM |

__ dear Jaryl

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Dear Jaryl,

I noe its hard being what u are now. I'm realli happy tht ur not ashamed of your status but why do u still brood in the dark?.. ur juniors lloked up to you as a role model yet u refuse to believe so. You told me that u never wanted to be anyone special yet somehow thts exactly what u became. Was those times u struggled against the student councill back in your secondary school really neccessary?.. Do you remember back in secondary two when we went for the Prison visit n you bravely told the warden that using the cane on individuals was totally inhumane?.. ur friends were'nt really happy abt ur comment, evn the teacher seemed rather hesistant to acknowledge tht u were in fact right in a way. Jaryl, at that moment i realised that u were a staunch believer of morality and all things right. I still recall those days u would enjoy just being urself in school, juggling between student councill responsibilities n ur studies. There was once when i was standing beside u in secondary one yet u took no notice of me. U were being chided by Mr Tom Ho, he said " even a karong guni man can give better work than you " and u were so depressed tht u cried. I saw Dean leading you to the band room aftr tht. It was then tht i realised u weren't as strong as i thought u were. I'll never forget the other time u bawled when Mrs Vergis scolded u and u felt insulted. Golly.. u sure are sensitive.

U might not have noticed but i was there when u felt lonely in Sajc and when u were part of a team in JJc. I noticed that u finally settled down in PJC after such a long time. Was it becoz u had Dean to ease the transition?.. Did u feel ostracised when almost evryone u met insisted n perceived u as an arts student? i was the person constantly telling u to ignore them but it seems u allowed their words to mess up your OWN perceptions. U never were good at letting go.. n i guess it led to ur own demise...

I guess its a new begining now. Why dun u want to go back Westwood animore? i tot u saed band was your life force.. goodness u even went for band during ur O's and look where it got u... i wonder how everyone would react.. " jaryl?.. jaryl retained? " will they laugh their head off? i guess u would feel like just posrting anotice to inform everyone abt ur fate.. golly.. i wonder if u have the mental tenacity to go on.. Believe me its no use hiding

I realised u saed tht u do not realli miss ur ex-class rather a select few. why sae such a thing?.. dun u want the hugs n kisses ur frenz who miss you gif?.. i guess ur a different Jaryl tht i knew.. u dun laugh like before, u dun behave like before.. Heck! u dun even dress like before. I kinda miss the old Jaryl, the one who studied n followed the rules strictly. sometimes i feel like washing my hands clean frm all this. Just try to make things work out Jaryl, rectify the wrong..

oh ya n about the gerls in ur life.. remember tht particular gerl who made u shiver just at the thought of her?.. remeber wad she saed?.. " i'll never forget guys who declare the love for me ".. guess she went back on her words huh?.. dun worrie Jaryl, ur blessed with the perferct girl-friends now.. but they'll leave u soon enough ya noe.. i hope tht u wld cheirhs them alike..

i love you jaryl u noe i do.. its just sumtimes u drive me mad when u get all sulky.. i wish u were the Jaryl i knew back then.. pple change i guess..

C'est La vie

yours truly,

your conscience

i would prefer for those who read this to not acknowledge this entry.. i dun realli wanna feel any empathy at the moment.. sigh

caught a razor butterfly at - 7:40 PM |

__ HEEHIP!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Firstly i would like to congratulate Maizura:

Maizura! U have mastered the school song, school cheers, mass dance and fun dance too. U have geled-up the whole OG and clan alike. U met so many friends tht appreciate u in the OG and thanks for introducing them to me. Thanks for giving me the " crasher's attitude " which enabled me to truly have a amazing time ytd. I cant wait to see u in pj gerl.. ur the ultimate hot, sexy and hyperventilating bitch queen tht pioneer junior college will appreciate!!

okay so i'm done with tht and on to the FINALE!!

well it started like any other mundane day - give the subj combi forms, then talks and breaks and all dat. Thn Dean n Maizura came and brought with them wackoness galore. We were kinda stuck outside the hall as we needed Xinyi to sneak us [ well them coz i'm already in the orientation ] in. We saw Jorge and we just scrambled in.. ahaha and started cheering like mad people. I didnt go for the retainees talk coz i felt it would be redundant and stayed on to revise the mass dance and fun dance. goodness.. dean was my dancing partner and yet again, we caused so much havoc tht the OGL's were looking at us and the OG was giggling like crazy.

the wet games was awesome.. we were playing a simple game of " catch the flag ", sad thing was i didnt get wet enuff.. ahaha... Farahin and this indian gerl was in such a tackle-cum-struggle tht would put the rugby gerls in my school to shame.. yeah.. thn we had to retrieve the water bomb plastic bags.. thn some lame people frm the other clans of Nootka and Walla tried to steal our bags. I caught one guy and he started screaming " WALLA! WALLA! " but nowan came to his aid lah.. PAISEH!! ahaha thn he dragged me into a bunch of mimosa plants and i had to let him go as i was yelping in pain -

* mimosa - according to the primary school science syallabus, it is a plant commonly known as touch-me-not and has bloody thorns. my foot got boo-boo liao!!

thn it was clan time in the LT4 and more havoc.. me, lydia , dean , maiz , xinyi , audrey , jorge and another dude plus andy was at the end of the LT making the club for Janet. ahahaha.. the onli contribution of mine was food * no surprise there huh? * thn the J1's left for height and weight and hema came too followed by florence and here friend. YEAH I MANAGED TO BONK DEAN ON THE HEAD TWICE WITH A PINK RUBBER BALL DURING HIS USUAL DRAMA MAMA CRAP!! ahaha.. fun fun fun!! and we danced so much tht the stage shook and a gap appeared.. gosh.. not my fault okay!!

the finale was in the hall.. so much for a campfire.. they lit candles instead.. aiyoh cant even barbeque a piece of chicken floss.. so the whole gang consisting of audrey, maiz,xinyi,lydia,hema,florence,me and dean all sat together shouting in the hall.. wheeeee... ahaha.. it was so fun.. i tink everyone really looked up to dean as an OGL and senior.. god.. words cant describe the whole feeling i had in the hall.. ARUNA IS SO HOT LAH!! - she was dancing n all of us was stoinked man!! total flabbergasted at her new .. new.. new self!! ahaha.. totally fun.. all those dancing and screaming during the songs.. the last part was singing the school song n scool pledge and everyone was so close.. phew.. i loved it to bits.. n my throat felt like it was inflamed.. i loved it

best quote of the day frm veron : HEEHIP!!

it was today tht i realised tht friends could really make or break you.. evryone of them. i also realised the mistake i made tht led me to retaining. i never managed to let go off my secondary school until now. i messed up my first few months of jc. I'm not gonnna make tht mistake again. I'm not gonna care about wad pple tink about me and definitely not gonna let pple influence me thoughts. I love u guys so much.. u guys taught me alort ytd during the finale. i hope we never part and if we do i'll remember this foreva as long as my memory permits it.

i declare orientation 6 - island of pioneerock a SUCCESS!!

caught a razor butterfly at - 12:38 PM |

__so much for fun

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Hmmm.. i guess yesterday was so much better thn any other days of the week since it was a friday and we had to dance the school fundance. I was part of the Art Society team which taught the J1 batch the dance.. We danced for four hours straight man!! thts like equivalent to losing like a few kilograms i hope.. yeah it was fun during tht period..

I received my subject combination form.. i'm in the science stream but i hope to transfer to the arts. The school saed tht there might be a possibility of choosing any subject combination. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT MATHS BIO AND LIT!! ya so i'm gonna appeal for tht combi.. if i dun get it i'll try maths/econz , geog and lit i just wanna shout out to all those tht remain oblivious to my plight - I AM A FREAKING RETAINEE!! DONT BE SHOCK, AND I'M NOT AN ARTS STUDENT PREVIOUSLY!! god why does everyone act so shock .. " sorry jaryl i didnt noe " eRmm.. ya.. okay

and then there's those people who ask why i can still act so happy.. well i haf to remain happy coz theres too much pain at stake.. wad i am now is nothing but a mask.. damn it.. do u noe how much it hurts to see ur friends just advance like tht.. do u noe how much it hurts to forego ur dreams, do u know how much it hurts to be the specimen for freakshows as pple just stare at you, do you know how much it hurts when ur mother cries at the knowledge of her son retaining.. do u??.. bet u dont.. being happy is the onli solitude i have at my disposal.. please dun take tht away from me..

my dad tinks i'm loitering in school aimlessly, my mom still broods on the fact tht i have to spend another year in pjc.. me??.. i'm just tinking wad a farked up world this is.. i just wanna run away..

its never going to be the same.. shit...

god i tink i shld just be gay..

caught a razor butterfly at - 1:35 PM |

__in a pensieve

Thursday, January 05, 2006

there's just soooo many thoughts swirling around in my head right now.. maybe the reason orientation bores me is because i have a sucky attitude.. but c'mon its painful enuff to see ur bestest friends from afar and all tht.. i would be happy to share their whole hectic schedule and wad not..

the lit subject talk was okay.. and i have a brief idea of wad my subjects would be like.. taxing but fun nonetheless.. the CCA open house was fun coz we all screamed like mad and i have a serius sore throat.. i jus couldnt stand the bit when two MALE FARKERS laughed and clapped sarcastically at me and alex when we asked them to look at the arts soc booth and join us.. like WTF!!.. u tink onli sissy boys join the arts ah??.. puh leese.. i shrugged them off by telling alex tht we dun need the mentally challenged in an intellectually challenging environment aniway.. GOD SOME PJ J1's NEED A COURSE IN SOCIAL ETIQUETTE!!

sheesh.. ahaha.. ya.. it feels weird.. like i told rez.. i feel in a trance w/o them.. haiz.. gotta live with it..

like the song goes.. its the time to disco.. - disco indeed huh?..

she loves me.. she love me not..

randomness, god i'm so random..

caught a razor butterfly at - 8:07 PM |

__ drama woo woo

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

OH GOD!! i sooo cant take this dreading orientation animore.. my og still ceases to exist... damn.. ahah.. but i had fun chatting with Jingyi.. man he's great n i found out his taking a purely mathematical combi of phy, maths and F maths.. aiyoh.. brainiac!! ahaha.. i didnt take my orientation tee shirt.. DAMN!!

Its soooo fun to hang out with the Westwoodians again.. ahaha.. all the jokes we share and the "lesbian adventures" of Aruna.. and Xinyi's consistent and persistent venture of finding boys.. ahahah.. wheeee.. feels like Westwood afterall.. ahaha.. Aniway i attended the subject lectures today.. i'm no cowering in fear of taking geography but Ms Lee saed tht if i were to work extra hard it shld be relatively okay.. i hope so!!.. econz looks foreboding too.. AHHHHH!!!

DRAMA WAS TOTALLY FUN!!.. ahahah... yeah.. same nonsense we engage in lah.. ahaha.. FLORENCE CANT STICK TO HER RESOLUTION!!.. wahahahaha.. its been like 2 days since the new year yet she cant stick to it.. aiyoh.. ahahha.. it was truly fun.. its magical n surreal to tell u the truth.. i hope the J1's would be like us.. nvm if not.. is shall be mad!! and instill sum eccentric wackoness in them!!.. HURRAY!!

Lastly.. jus a reminder.. i'm not ashamed of being a retainee.. its a new experience.. dun feel sorrie u guys.. its fun.. i'll be a great arts student.. or at least try!!

I WISH HUILING AND I GET INTO THE SAME CLASS!!!!

caught a razor butterfly at - 10:08 PM |

__phew its over

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

so much for the ferst day of school.. totally a wreck man!.. ferst thing was tht i was the onli dummy standing in line in my OG31.. until sum gerls came and guys too.. i talked to this guy by the name of Kenneth and he told he's seen my around and thought i was an arts student.. the talk i had with the teacher was enlightening as i began to see a clearer view of my suibjects and wad not.. thn i talked to Lalita and then she diappeared.. I was left to endure 4 hours plus of butt aching and leg cramping talks... god couldnt it get any more boring. Surprisingly the new principal is fantastic and i foresee a brighter future for Pioneer Juniro College.. the only time i enjoyed was the talk with Mr Yeo to the retainees.. we were assured tht we would be indeed monitored by the school and given outmost care and guidance. At this very moment i felt really special and knew tht i was in safe hands. Ya and so i was left in another weird situation with Jing Yi my ogl as everyone left.. so i took leave n hung oyut with my J2 buds.. man i missed SO4.. there were 4 new people to take up the absence of the original four of us.

Thankfully Daniel is going arts too and taking bio at H1 level.. phew!! I got a friend!!.. ahaaha.. ya n i met Fiona who was realli wonderful and came across like me.. yeah.. the best thing was tht Mdm Tong allowed me to crash her G.P lesson.. soo i was left there crapping with the usual crew while i took my turn proofing ti the class tht i was indeed part of them by answering questions and wad not indignantly.. yeah..

it was fun today due to the fact tht i managed to be able to hang out with my closest frenz.. hopefully my new combination would bring about new changes allowing me to find special friends i could rely on too..

yeah.. just waiting.. hope tmr does not turn out to be as disappointing as today.. wonder if i can crash animore lessons..

god i wish i were a J2 but nonetheless.. i'm happy to be able to take arts!

caught a razor butterfly at - 7:25 PM |

__in with the new

Sunday, January 01, 2006

okay.. and just like tht the new year has come.. so i say let us chuck the old and embrace the new.. at least thts wad i'm gonna do.. seriusly. I've split up the year 2oo5 into 4 sections basically emulating the semestral format. And here goes the summary of my year //

1. January - March

I started out with a miserable 3 days in SAJC.. it was just me i guess.. i didnt fit in from the beginning of the day. I was acquainted with Joshua and Umma who i didnt really click with as they kept on highlighting the fact tht i was a bandsmen and debator and would not really be too keen with their ambitious football dreams. So i decided tht i would withdraw... And then i joined JJC and it was pure bliss being with my sec sch friends. At this period of time i made up with my bestie and everything was smooth sailing. My class of o5so4 was okay but i really enjoyed the times with the debaters - akesh, clement, en hua, samantha, esther, priya, nadz and Mrs Tan and Mr Kong. those were truly the daes... and i hung with the malay peeps and sum arts students. And then came the day of our O's... i was relatively disappointed with my 15 points but it did secure me a place in Pioneer Junior College.

2. April - June

The pple in sch were fantatsic but i always hated the management. I got shouted at during the first day of sch for enquiring if the sch would offer Lit to a student of 15 pts as a 4th subject. oh well.. aniway i made fantastic friends and met some of the old ones.. In my class.. of o5so4 [ abit creepy as it was the same class initials as the one in JJC ] i got to noe practically everyone.. i loved the company with rez, yina, tanya, shar, pravin, irene, sheldon, daniel and of course my PW group. I decided to join band and debates .. the band practices wore me out abit but i was always ready to do my best. Nothing really great happened i guess...

3. July - September

Main events of this period of time were the band syf and debates. during the syf i felt really ecstatic knwing tht we accomplished a gold. for debates i fought really hard. it was during this time tht i met with a blow. one of the judges at the debates commented tht i looked like a roast turkey and it hurt me very much soo.. to make matter worst , sum band pple gave me the cold shoulder. It was during tht period of time tht i decided to let go of band and went full force with debates. I also grew closer with some seniors such as Lydia and others. We had many weird antucs in midst of all the studying.

4. October - December

and so the promos came and went... results too.. i had to sit the re-exam.. well i studied hard for maths but still i failed and thus i am to repeat another year. It was during this period of time that i realised how close i was with my friends and tht they too treasured me the same way i treasured them. I'll be attempting the arts from now on.. wheeee

i never really believed in resolutions but here goes-----

lose serious body mass
excel in the arts
take up trombone/bassoon
volunteer more @ SPCA
be myself
for drama to achieve at least a silver
get a job and earn serious cash =)
be more involved in band
be a better person and friend
make my mum proud
go to church more often and get confirmed
maybe join a choir??
do sum designing
create the debates, drama and sch t-shirt
get a cat??
maybe if i can.. find the one

and so it ends

i hope it would be a btr year.. for u and for me.. cheerios

caught a razor butterfly at - 3:06 PM |