I dare you to catch razor butterflies

__should i??

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Few more days and all of this would come to an end..yeahx...pple haf been saeing that i look down todae..and that i seem to haf an angry n moody facade..hmmmm..well i haf done alort of thinking...every little minute..i am alone..i tend to wander into my own complex world wer i juz think abt my choices..yeahx..Tanya was a bit worried i guess..she was the ferst to notice tht i wasnt myself the whole day..lotsa things happened todae to make me freak out..haish..ferst was that me and dean wer practicalli late for school..thn during bio klass..i was like blind and i mean it..everyone could see the braticule scale in the microscope..but i cudnt and i panicked..the tcher saed she could see it clearly but to me all i could see was nutin..zilch...Ms Leaong sensed my urgency and calmed me down..haish..i am so lame..during malay klass..Cikgu Hajis gave everone the kamus thn for no apparent reason i juz gort up from my seat an walked to the cupborad n took 2 dictionaries..my friends questioned my actions n tht was thn i noticed wad i was doing..my gawd i feel weird...

Its nice being able to feel secure and emotionalli stable once again..maizura sms-ed me and i tot it was such a blessing as i poured out all my probs to her and such..its reall assuring tht pple i love back in wwss still are the same..i mish them so much..maiz ish the ferst person hu supports me quitting band for reasons yet unknown...Shirong and me were discussing abt quitting during sectionals..thn Kenny saed the band will be totalli handicapped wen the onli 2 tubists leave.gd!!..hahax...i juz dunnoe..i feel confused..i haf caused tensions..i feel not connected with the band peeps of my year..the all apparently know each other frm 1st 3 mths..me??..haish..i happen to expect so much..but in the end..all i m left wif are my tears..maybe..juz maybe i will stay n grit my teeth..or i might end my band-hood...i neber tot i would not be a JC band member wen i passed out last year frm WWCB..i alwaes had this set of hopes...but they are nutin but mere dust...i wait in the darkness for my salvation...

caught a razor butterfly at - 10:46 PM |