shots of insecurities
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Okay before i start yabbering about how school has been , i absolutely have to narrate my frightening dream i had today. It involved several Pioneer students and i shan't reveal who they are for my own personal reasons, thank you.
I dreamt it was an average day in school. I was even wearing my school uniform in my dream. So i was happily chatting with my female friend when this dude
( whom i know ) barged in demanding who wrote the name of another female friend ( lets call her, X ) on a table stating that X is my best friend. Everyone kinda looked at me but i knew it wasn't me whom scribbled X's name.
Then the female friend i was chatting with suddenly started siding with the dude saying that it was all my fault and i was wondering why the guy was all flustered considering he was already attached and X means nothing to him.
And then it dawned upon me that my female friend was the one who wrote the stupid scribble yet insisted that i was the culprit. Then the dude took out this knife and rushed towards me.
In my dream, NOBODY helped me as i was being stabbed repeatedly by the dude. Fuck.
And i remember being all disoriented in my dream and it ended with me being stabbed and the dude leaving with his Girlfriend ( whom is not X ). The last words muttered in the dream belonged to the dude's GF and were
" God, you embarrass me ... ".
Fuck fuck fuck. I get stabbed in my OWN dream ! How amusing.
On to other things.
No matter how many people state that i'm handsome on the inside, it still doesn't seem to sink in. When i walk around in school and see the jocks, i get jolts of jealously for not looking as good as them or possessing their slim figures. Damn, i even fear looking in the mirror. I'm so foolish.
The tests this week were fine. I got major pissed off at myself for not managing my time during the economics test, and biology could've been better if i studied harder.
Can't wait for The Arena next Tuesday. Got hot Caucasian chick from United World College. Drools. I like Caucasian girls. Shit i need a reality check.
Noreen come back soon. We all miss you so much.
I miss the whole A05 gang. It seemed worthwhile and purposeful back in my old class.
Now J2 is peppered with worries for the A's and Army, Double trouble. No zest for anything else, besides my incredible laughing sessions with Deepa. & all i look forward to is a purpose in school.
Fat boy Slim. Fat boy Slim. Fat boy Slim. Fat boy Slim.
caught a razor butterfly at - 10:33 PM |
