I dare you to catch razor butterflies

The Dilemma Of Friendship

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I wonder if people actually still bother to read my blog.

I think I've come to a standstill in my life. The ones i once hold so dearly onto, have become somewhat emotional baggage. Friendships, nothing but tiresome delusions. It's funny, really. Sometimes i wish to just pop the question :

Are we still friends? Are we still as close as before ?

We often assume that measure of distance between us. Maybe its physical ; i rather think of it as emotional. I hope i don't seem callous with my words. It seems like our physical distance manifested into an emotional drift. Saddening.

But then there are friends like Esther. 11 years of friendship and still going strong. Her emails give me so much strength and just merely reading it allows me to plunge into the warmth. Why can't all friendships be like that ?

No I'm not ungrateful for the many connections I've made in school. Life without Noreen, Joyee, Deepa, Jings and Shaminah would be uninteresting, yet alone unspeakable ! I'm trying my best to rekindle to lost flames. But lately, baby it's you that brings me down. Maybe it's subconcious. I hope it is. I'm sorry. I'm afraid that we might not catch a glimpse of each other again, yet deep down inside of me, a little part of my heart says farewell thee, onward celebrations. Maybe my insensitive side is bidding farewell to the emotional burden attached to our frayed ends. I hope to see you again, before your take-off.

Help ? Anyone ?

baby, you gave me bed head instead
of the promises your emerald eyes spoke of.
we're both at the threshold, one step holds us back
and with each mouthed emotion
your heart yelps
I Love You
and all I can say;
me too.
It's mutual, innit ?

caught a razor butterfly at - 9:43 PM |