I dare you to catch razor butterflies

Wander

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

I let my mind wander, in pretence that it would bring back the answers to my many questions. I always wondered what it would be like to see myself through the eyes of others, how it would be like to live their lives - luxurious or not.

My mother said that a man who loves his mother will grow up to become a great husband. I love my mum tremendously, so you do the math. My interest in girls has reach an ultimate low. I made a promise in 2005, to never let my heart skip a beat, to never let it fall for another. The hassle, the pain and the constant sweet nothings are merely that - nothing. It's been four years and i still think about the first. Experimentation, to let the bubbles broil in our embrace. Homogenous heartache in a homogenous world of machinised flutter.

I'm starting to consider Philosophy as a possible potential Major choice in University.
I thought that i would never look back a year and still miss the wealth in it all. I reckon, my mind enjoys this discourse. Maybe i enjoy it. Maybe i do. It gives me a reason to allow my heart to ache for the great memories of a lost class and lost friendships.

Maybe I'm just over reacting, but the trench between all of us is growing. The importance of each day drives the wedge deeper. We find ourselves constantly trying to assimilate in the cultures of school - of life. We use to walk down the same path, now we're on different days.

Different outlooks, different sets of skies. I think we're the same people.
I use to dream of phantoms and apparitions taunting the life out of me. Now i dream of white-finned blue fish flying out of waters so crystal, dancing before my very eyes. Dreams, our subconscious mind made conscious. I hope to sleep forever, to bring those I care for to that same state of slumber.

Those around me do not change. It is I. Only.

Would you want to sleep with me? Just jump.

caught a razor butterfly at - 6:46 PM |