I dare you to catch razor butterflies

Heroes 23 - How To Stop An Exploding Man

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Mohinder Suresh:

Where does it come from?
This quest?
This need to solve life's mysteries when the simplest of questions can never be answered.
Why are we here? What is the soul?
Why do we dream?
Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all.
Not delving, not yearning.
But that's not human nature, not the human heart.
That is not why we are here.
Yet still we struggle to make a difference, -- to change the world, to dream of hope.
Never knowing for certain who we will meet along the way.
Who among the world of strangers will hold our hand.
Touch our hearts…and share the pain of trying.

Once again, i cried during a series season finale. Maybe i feel that i've been on a journey with the characters. Lived each breath and seen each step. It's funny, funny that i feel so much from static images. My empath skills must mean that i can feel emotions from images and media associations. I think the epilogue made a lot of sense.

I always knew that deep down, this life is just the tip of the ice berg, that there are bigger things out there, waiting for me to conquer. I dreamt of being a superhero, having magical powers. I always wanted to be part of the X-men, but i failed to realise my own power is being me. I don't understand why back in the past, i insisted on being normal - banal would be a better representation but in fact, i've got bigger plans. I really can't wait to see what God has planned for me but at the same time, it instills this fear in me. I've to develop my faith, believe that i'm really a true hero.

Somehow, its my family and friends that always save me from a rut. They care and love me in a way i'll never reciprocate to myself. I have to get back on this journey. I need to discover myself and my surroundings all over again.

I want to cry because i feel sad. I want to cry because it feels good. I want to inspire with my writing and with my heart. My presence.
I really want to change the world, well maybe change my own world. I want to make my mother proud, just like the time back when i received those awards in Westwood. I want to beam with pride.

This will serve as a reminder of my heart and soul, the power to move forward.
I want to remember that Joyee, Deepa and Noreen are the true girls in my Junior College life.
I'm not forgetting Rezwana, Sharhana and Yina.
Lydia, Dean and Haziq - the 20 year olds who have shown me the way.

How can i say i'm not blessed? How can i say, i'm not going to be great?

God, I'm really happy you have given me this life. Though i've said mean things to you because of my father, i've realised you have given me so much strength to not end my life in blood and tears. I'll try my very best to make you proud, to be in your Home. I want to feel you again. I shall make that journey once more, and when i'm ready, i'll receive your body once more.
Till then, i'll pray in my little heart, that you take care of my mother , my sister and my brother.
I may not show it, but i need them the most now.

Mohinder Suresh:

So much struggle for meaning, for purpose.
And in the end, we find it only in each other -- our shared experience of the fantastic ... and the mundane ...
The simple human need to find a kindred ... to connect ... and to know in our hearts ...
... that we are not alone.

caught a razor butterfly at - 11:18 PM |