I dare you to catch razor butterflies

For All Those Questions

Sunday, July 01, 2007

I was sitting on the toilet bowl and realised - our society doesn't value us for who we are and most probably will never will. No matter how much we love ourselves, the world might not reciprocate that same amount of emotions experienced by us.

I'm a victim of the media and merchandising. I watch television and wish i were that chiseled or that handsome. No matter how i try not to, the urge to build comparisons is inevitable. I can't help but feel ugly at times, and i know its wrong but the feelings are indeed there. Oh, yes i do love myself, but i often yearn for the validation of others. It's like drawing a picture and colouring it out of the lines yet seeking the gentle reassurance from your mother that your artwork is splendid. Yes, it's almost similar to that.

Our society values perfection though we are thought that there is no such distinction to such an idea yet the media advocates it with the six-pack abs and the perky breasts. I was reading the papers and realised how afraid i am going to feel upon enlistment. I'll be imperfect in their eyes. Imperfect. And Fat.

I admit, at times i'm way swishy-swashy and broken-wristed but i love being that way. I love having a sharp tongue and going high-pitched. I know there are many who laugh at me, think of me as ... but who said i had to please the world? I may be hurt by them initially, but it's my party in the end. I've decided, if anyone were to ask me i would say yes and see how they judge me henceforth. I'm tired of listening to those who deem themselves a level more perfect that those who already are.

I remember saying this in Lit class: " Perfection is actually imperfection "

It's our imperfections that make us perfect examples of the human race.
Like everyone else, I'm superficial at times and i do judge people. But I'm learning to come into terms with my imperfections.

As my lover said in her poem Munich Mannequins, "perfection is terrible..."
Indeed it is, but what's more terrible is a human being who thinks he is perfect.

.x and at this juncture, I've realised, i haven't really gotten closure from our three year stint.

caught a razor butterfly at - 11:27 PM |