__ i'll cry
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
The Blower's Daughter
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her skies
And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
I can't take my mind off OF you
I can't take my mind off OF you...
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new
i kept playing the above song over and over again.. as if hoping that the words would make a humongous impact on me. I think it hurts, notice i used the word think. Its rather ambiguos, these feelings i possess ; shapeless and identity-less. Goodness i really felt like i was going to breakdown when Lydia was chatting to me. It felt as though everything i clung onto so tightly is slowly crumbling.
Dear Lord,
Lord, Am i ready to embrace the truth?
Why take my hopes away?. Is it because i lost my faith in my religion?
Why take the few people who make me really happy to be in college away?
Why? Why am i so afraid to face the both you and the truth?
Will i accept my true self?..
I feel so shunned yet i am not alone. I feel rather ludicrous at this moment. I seem to be in a never-ending battle between me and my emotions. Will i ever see you again after you leave?.. Will i let you go?.. Will u let me go??.. u noe.. all of a sudden i'm not compelled to even go for CCA.. i feel like running away from any signs tht i wan once a Westwoodian.. why am i so ashamed of myself?.
fark.. realli.. pardon my primitive usage of profanities, but seriously.. a BIG fark. It hurts.. so bad.. and i don't understand why pple keep on saying tht i like someone. Seriously i do not. Period. No-one is in my life now. No-farking-one. Haiz. i just feel like crying yet again i feel like running thru the wind. and to just feel my hair sway in the breeze, knowing that ur save and sound.
I'll let go.. its the least i could do. I love you ya noe.. in more ways then one. I'll start embracing the times we have..
Tanya, Lydia, Rez , Yina
i miss you guys so much... its just not the same huh?.. same school yet we're not as close as before. I'm such a hypocrite. I love you guys so much. My words would not be sufficient to express how it was to be with u guys.
I hate my past.. I'm accepting my present.. i'm awaiting the future..
for you my clandestine identity.. i'll be here
caught a razor butterfly at - 11:13 PM |
